Perspectives. What do they mean to us?
I have clients who come to me with certain issues they want to work through. We find that most of the time it is when they see things from a different perspective that they have their Aha moment.
Sharing the thoughts that you have going around your head like a hamster in a wheel is all it takes. When we remove these thoughts from out of our head and share them, they can be viewed and questioned differently which can then lead to a different perspective.
Our thoughts if negative can be soul destroying. We have a thought, this thought then goes on to create a feeling inside of us, it can bring up feelings and emotions that question our self-worth, our self esteem can be damaged, friendships and relationships damaged, work relationships can be damaged to name just a few. These feelings then go on to create our actions and depending on what that action is, it will lead us to a result. This is usually not a happy result.
Let me just give you an example of such a result which I personally think is very sad. This is a story I overheard while waiting to see my GP.
A couple went to the beautiful city of Rome. While there, they visited the Vatican. They thought this was one of the most beautiful places in the world, although church is not somewhere, they frequent when here at home, but they still have their beliefs. Her husband was wearing a cross and chain which his wife says, ‘he never takes off’, this had been gifted to him by his mother several years earlier.
Mother and son had become estranged earlier, a family squabble which had never been sorted. His mother became unwell but still they remained estranged. A thought came to her husband while in one of the churches, it was to have the cross blessed and give it to his mother when they returned from their holiday.
On their return her husband gave his treasured chain to his sister and asked her to hand it to his mother explaining that it had been blessed just for her. His sister did as was asked of her but sadly when she gave the chain to her mother, she perceived that he had just given her back the chain she had given him all those years ago, believing he did not want it any more and was hurt by this.
The moral of this story is that each person had their own thought about the cross and chain. The son doing what he thought was a beautiful gesture for the mother he loves, and his mother thinking he was insulting her by giving back a present once given to him with love.
This is a prime example of the same circumstance but because both had a different thought about this circumstance these thoughts created different emotions and feelings which then created different actions and results. The only thing that resulted from this sad story is that both mother and son are still estranged.
The most important thing I can stress here is to listen to people, see things from their point of view along with your own. We all have our own beliefs about things, but these beliefs need not be written in stone. Religion is another prime example. Each religion believes theirs is the one true god and no religion will relent and say, ‘your right’. At the same time, I have my own beliefs but how do I know for sure that my religion is the true religion? I don’t and can’t possibly know for sure, so I respect other people’s views. Just because they don’t have the same view as us does not mean they are right or wrong.
Try seeing things from a different perspective and many wars, arguments and estrangements could be avoided.