What Or Who Are You Beneath All Your Roles?

Photo taken from the Empowering Questions deck by Sunnypresent.com

Each time I work with a client just before I run through the values clarification exercise, I will always ask them “Who are you?”

And each time they will rattle off a load of roles, such as, I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a waitress, a cleaner, and it goes on. They find it so easy to tell me what role they play.  I then say to them again “Who are you? not the role that you play but the person that you are”.  Let us start by saying “I Am” ………………………..,  There is usually  complete silence for a while, and then the words “oh god, I don’t know how to answer that”.

I find this quite sad as it seems so many of us have no idea who we are until asked to put it into words, and even then, we must think about this question.

So, let me ask you, “Who are you”?

Are you compassionate?  Are you kind?  Are you loving?  Are you curious?  Are you respectful?  Are you Private? and the list can go on and on.

We are all different and so we will all have our own set of values. These values make up who we are at our very core. They will also be seen in the roles that we play, but it is in knowing that we are not the role, but the real person beneath the role that is important.

Amazingly when we are young, this is when we are sure of who we are.  I asked this same question to my nine-year-old nephew a couple of months ago, he had absolutely no problem whatsoever in telling me who he is.  Is it because at his age he does not focus on roles? Is it that he has not lost himself because of roles he plays or life’s lessons? If a child can be so sure of who he is at that young age, what has happened to us as adults to have to think about who we are?

I run self-awareness workshops. These are run over six weeks at two hours per night. It is amazing to see adults become aware again of who they are, and not just the roles they play. These ladies usually leave feeling so much more confident and new goals usually are put in place.  

So, let me finish this blog by telling you who I am. I am a Life, confidence, and mindset coach. (This is my role) I Am, Kind, compassionate, caring, loving, loyal, non-judgmental, respectful, easy to talk to, down to earth, and so much more.

Now let me ask you again, “Who are you?

Published by Mary Dunne

My name is Mary from Yana Life Coach Service. I am an Accredited Life coach. I coach people who want to improve their self-confidence, self-belief and self-esteem. I also encourage people who are fearful of stepping outside their comfort zone to take that first and most important step. The reason I excel as a life coach is because I've been in that very same position until I trained as a Life coach. I decided to study Life coaching as I had always been passionate about helping people be the best versions of themselves. I became the best version of myself during this time. I had suffered desperately with self-confidence and self-esteem issues. I was always afraid to step out of my comfort zone, I had very little self-belief, thinking this is where my safe place was, but I soon found it was not a place that made me happy. There was so much I wanted to do but fear held me back. While I was studying for my accreditation, I learned so much about myself. I became more confident; my self-esteem improved no end and I stepped out of that comfort zone. I now work with clients one to one, I also run workshops. These workshops include a Happiness workshop, Step out in confidence workshop, Self-Awareness workshops and Goal Setting workshops. After each of these workshops you will leave feeling more confident about yourself and your abilities. I know you have probably heard these words a million times, " If I can do it anyone can", I really mean this. I was a total mess walking into my first day of the Life coaching class at the age of 46yrs, but I was not a mess leaving it. It really was the best decision of my life. I am who I am today because of it. I have become the best version of myself, now let me help you become the best version of yourself.

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